darkforestwarriors:

thegoddamnedmagpie:

Alright tumblr, ill try my hand at one of these

So I don’t have a lot of fun stories like gallusrostromegalus or anything

But i do have a nascent plant god growing in my side yard

Once upon a time, our neighbor from down the street Jeff (Who may be an angry sorcerer, as you’ll see) gifted my dad a pretty little agave plant. We planted it in a corner box in the yard, where the roses used to live.

We could not have known.

So, for reference, here’s a photo of your common, everyday Yucca, upstanding citizen of the southwestern community. Beside it is my size 13 boot, build to contain my big fuck off germanic hooves.

And here is a photo of the pretty little agave we planted, in the corner box, where the roses used to live. Under his new name.

MONSTRO

I live in in fear, that one night, he will call to me, for blood. And I will oblige him, for he will have ascended.

I love him