Tag: vent

kihaku-gato:

Reading some of these Autism-related articles on obsessions and hyperfocuses is somewhat rough/painful to take in, but at the same time, maybe it’ll change some things soaking this information while I sleep tonight.

As one who went to sleep, woke up and went through the day on this, so far all its done is make me feel sad for the day… guess it hit harder than I expected.

While I understand that art (especially if you’re getting back on the horse on your abilities for it) requires practice and starting from the bottom up,

but it doesn’t make it any less vexing when you wanna draw epic interactive scenes when all you can draw at your dropped skill level are the basic chibis…..

There’s something about how social disabilities cripple the ability to do Basic Business Contact that then leads to a lvl of extreme helpless overdependence towards others that makes me so frustrated and angry. I’d rather not have other people as a crutch for something that I need to be able to do myself if I’m going to be doing ANY kind of business long term.

It’s like I go from Okayish Functional Human Being to Clamped Up Child In a Bubble.

So yesterday not only did dad mow over my recovering Carpinus carolinana (you know, the one that we thought died to herbicides last year?? it was sprouting back up from the roots this year), he was mowing so low and abusing so much of the lawn mower itself in places it didn’t belong that it was actually set on fire from the strain despite our constant warnings/scoldings to cut higher and avoid this place or that place. He only halted when both mom and I were screaming “FIRE!!! FIRE!!!!”

Dad can’t even care for the expensive equipment that he’s supposed to be responsible/specialized in ffs….

Dad probably wonders why I get so buckwild whenever he’s out mowing the lawn every time but like???? How can I NOT where do I even start on the oldest memories of losing plants to him. In the past he has (not in chronological order);

– Weedwacked several potted Rose of Sharon seedlings that were HIGH UP ON CHAIRS. The pots were ripped apart as much as the seedlings.

– Nearly mowed our only official female ginkgo tree sapling which was MARKED (and by nearly I mean “definitely drove close to it that he would’ve only realized he was by the fact the mower blades were hitting wood”)

– The time he almost set the ENTIRE QUARTER OF THE ORCHARD ON FIRE DESPITE US TELLING/SCOLDING HIM TO FUCKING STOP BURNING STUFF THERE. The ashpit it left in the grass/lawn for that area is still there despite it being over a year or two cause of how severe it fucking was.

– The fact said fire(s) have lead to HIS OWN spruce sapling to become halfway dead due to the severe heat/fire damage, and he IS CONFUSED AS TO WHY WE WANT TO REMOVE IT WHEN ITS SO SEVERELY DAMAGED AND AT THE FRONT OF THE PROPERTY.

– FUCKING DROVE OVER A GINKGO TREE TALLER THAN DAD HIMSELF WITH THE FUCKING TRAILER. WHEN THERE IS PLENTY OF FUCKING DRIVEWAY SPACE RIGHT BESIDE TO MISS EVEN IF YOU WERE DRIVING LIKE A DUMBASS.

And those are just the things I remember. There is probably a fair bit more my brain has catered to making me utterly completely forget (thank you for once brain).

So when I hear lawnmower and him in the same sentence when I not only have all my potted birch trees outside the greenhouse (they needed to be out of the greenhouse environment to give the pests a harder time) PLUS my potted Tangutica clematis in the morning before breakfast or even before I’m awake OF COURSE IM GONNA EXPLODE IN A RAGE-FILLED ANXIETY. I kill plants enough without having assistance with the ones that actually do ok for me!!!

Those who think trashing empty rural houses is an okay form of entertainment

fuck you. We’re farmers we don’t got the money to keep repairing that kind of shit over and over. Should’ve taken your forgotten skateboard last summer. Or started surrounding that house with the thorniest freaking shrubbery I know of to give them their own side of collateral.

Basic Important Law of Writing;

If/When you put minorities in it (in your stories, your world building, your character roster), you need to make sure you keep it BALANCED

If you make the majority of your minority characters in the villain/antagonist slot and not a single one in the heros/protagonist slot (or for that matter, making it that there are more villain minority characters than there are ones that are heros), then there’s a very big problem.

You’re making a message about minorities that should not be; that they are not the good guys, that they are and always will be the thugs/thieves/villains that the irl world so often tries to unfairly portray them in. <- that message there, is not right in the slightest. It is a big slap to the face for a huge potential amount of your reader base.

If the only major female/LGBTA+/POC/disabled characters in your world/story are the ones which are the bad guys, that is not the least bit right.

It’s not even not that hard to fix if you catch it soon enough; simply either add some protagonists/heros which are of the same minority or change some of your existing protagonists into characters of minority (making it that you may not need to change the villains/antagonists at all), or change the villains/antagonists so that they are no longer a minority character. Populate your world with ordinary civilians / background characters which are of the minority. Minority does not mean they don’t exist.

If you think it’s too hard to balance out your use of minorities in your literature, then you are no longer writing properly. I won’t necessarily say your biased or homophobic/albiest/racist for not fixing such errors (though it may not hurt to assess your existing worldview on the matter), but I will however say that you’re being very sloppy/lazy in very a bad way for your writing. To do that is a great disservice to your writing skills as well as your story/world in question if you ignore such a writing problem/challenge.

Be aware of your writing, it will benefit from it.